Even writing this is a risk, I know.
It could be seen as an invitation,
expressly to him.
But aren’t all gods worldbreakers,
if they want to be?
When they need to be?
Some of them are just better known
for wearing that face.
I hear his whisper, soft and sibilant,
down near the bottom of my consciousness:
‘Think what you will, what you must.
No, I am not nice.
No, I am not safe.
I am not a cutesy child’s cartoon character,
no matter how some may paint me.
But what I do is necessary.
It is important.”
If not for him, we would stagnate
in our own inertia forever.
We do so love the status quo, don’t we,
even when it is killing us?
We fear that if we move, if we act to change things,
what we end up with may be worse,
even when what we already have
is so bad that we might as well
be dead already.
When he steps in, eyes narrowed,
scarred mouth grim,
his resolve steeled to change what we will not,
we know there will be tears.
We shake in dread at the mere thought
of what havoc he might wreak,
what things he will bring tumbling down
around our heads.
But when the wreckage settles,
when the smoke clears,
We have change,
whether we wanted it or not.
Because even when we don’t want it,
we need it.
When we don’t want it is when
we need it most of all.
Then he leaves us to rebuild,
not always without help,
when we have to learn to stand
on our own two feet for a change,
when we have coasted along for too long.
I don’t welcome that side of him any more
than anyone would;
I’ve seen my world shattered
too many times to count already:
loved ones dying,
homes disappearing before I could blink.
I survived them all.
And it’s not right to blame him for what he does;
if we had the resolve, the courage to change things ourselves,
he wouldn’t have to do it for us.
Nonetheless, it’s hard to take.
All I ask, then,
if the time comes again to make my world collapse,
so that a new and better one might be born,
forgive me if I tremble in terror and anticipation of what you do,
and I ask you lend me the tiniest bit of your strength
so I might survive it once again.
I trust you to know what’s best for me,
because you know I never do.